we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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