I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
