is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
