so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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