We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Randomize
