the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
