Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
