Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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