nut hugger
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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