IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
