i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
