Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
