he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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