Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
