Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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