what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize