we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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