Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
