I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
