just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
