I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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