I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
