I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
