i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
