Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
