The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
sarcasm needs its own font
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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