Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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