Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Text me some of your sweat
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
