so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize