I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
