I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
