The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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