She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize