is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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