problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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