he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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