girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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