He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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