ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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