I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize