TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
