Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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