so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
