question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
