sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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