I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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