Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
