Pants 0. Shit 1.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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