Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
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