Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i out mim tonsoeep
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
