he wants to bone in the snuggie
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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