LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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