I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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