and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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