i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
