new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think your dad took our porno
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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