Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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