she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
