he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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