I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize