he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
