Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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