in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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