Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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