Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
