I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He better not be in your backpack
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
