so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
