lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
