i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
